Sideline Chatter: They might find it's money well spent to pay him not to coachFebruary 4, 2018 9:46am

Feb. 02-- Checks, please.

Fired Arkansas coach Bret Bielema will receive 37 monthly installments of $322,567.57 through Dec. 31, 2020 as called for his in buyout, the Hogs' support foundation announced.

Final score: Greenbacks $11,935,000, Razorbacks 0.

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Headlines

-At SportsPickle.com: "Report: NCAA considering death penalty for NCAA."

-At NFL Memes on Facebook: "1-31: Happy Hue Jackson Day!"

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Crying in your beer

Dogfish Head's new beer-called In Your Mace!-is brewed with chili oils, the active ingredient in pepper spray.

Finally, a beer so good it brings a tear to your eye.

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Peeling off some green

Adam Stalmach, 24, stripped and flailed around on the 17th green before a practice round at the Waste Management Phoenix Open last Wednesday.

He faces charges of indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and improper waist management.

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Points, counterpoints

Fontbonne of St. Louis beat Greenville (Ill.) 164-154 in overtime Wednesday night, breaking the NCAA Division III record for combined points.

In other words, they scheduled a D-III men's basketball game, and the NBA All-Star Game broke out.

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Higher Call Dept.

Spotted on the reader board at Crossroads Community Church in Carver, Mass.: "The Bible mentions Eagles 33 times and the GOAT 42. Patriots win by 9."

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Mission accomplished

Ravens cornerback Marlon Humphrey is facing a third-degree robbery complaint for allegedly taking an Uber driver's $15 phone charger.

Probably not the way he had in mind, but he did get charged, right?

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Truth in advertising

LeBron James would consider playing for Golden State next season if the NBA powerhouse can offer him a max contract, ESPN reported.

In related story, they also plan to scrap the "Warriors" moniker and replace it with "Western Conference All-Stars."

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Hey, bettor, bettor

The American Gaming Association says Americans will wager $4.76 billion on Super Bowl LII.

If that's a prop bet, we're taking the over.

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A little overboard

Talking about experiencing a roughwater paddling.

A Japanese kayaker landed an eight-year ban for spiking his rival's drink.

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Talking the talk

-NBC's Jimmy Fallon, on the man who broke a Guinness world record by walking barefoot on a 120-foot path of loose Legos: "This beats the old record set by every dad getting up to use the bathroom at night."

-Patriots coach Bill Belichick, to reporters, when asked the difference between this Super Bowl and his previous seven: "This one is in Minnesota."

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The hills are alive

Switzerland's Lucerne University of Applied Sciences and Arts will offer bachelor's and master's degrees in yodeling, starting in the 2018-19 academic year.

So what's next, a Lit minor in "Old Yeller"?

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Fasten your seat belts

USC sold the naming rights for the L.A. Memorial Coliseum to United Airlines.

New to next season's concessions menu: tiny bags of honey-roasted nuts.

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More headlines

-At TheOnion.com: "Cleveland Indians owner admits Chief Wahoo no longer compatible with modern revenue-growth expectations."

-At TheKicker.com: "James Harrison petitions to have the Eagles play in Steelers uniforms."

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Plan B isn't so hot

The Packers didn't bring back a bunch of assistant coaches, including QB coach Alex Van Pelt.

Apparently Van Pelt wasn't quite as brilliant when Aaron Rodgers wasn't playing.

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X factors

Among the 10 most amazing aspects of the new XFL, from SportsPickle.com:

-All tackles that are not helmet-to-helmet result in immediate ejection from the game.

-Players who kneel for the anthem will be hit in the back of the head by a metal chair.

-When someone catches the football, it will count as a catch.

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History repeats itself

"Who says the Pro Bowl is not like regular-season or playoff games?" writes Janice Hough of LeftCoastSportsBabe.com. "Drew Brees exits with a lead, and defense gives it away."

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Dunking for dollars

Players on the winning NBA All-Star team this year will pocket $100,000-double what it was a year ago.

Though they were pushing for $1,000 for every point their team scored.

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Quote marks

-Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg, wondering if concussed Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski might have been cleared too soon: "After practice, Gronk asked the blocking dummy for her phone number."

-Former NFL center Matt Birk, to the St. Paul Pioneer Press, on why he keeps his Super Bowl ring in a cabinet above his oven or on his tie rack: "That's the truth. If I hid it somewhere, I'd forget where I hid it."

-Bill Barnwell of ESPN.com, on Washington earning kudos for landing QB Alex Smith after botching the Robert Griffin III and Kirk Cousins situations: "You shouldn't congratulate a company for doing a great job of cleaning up its own toxic waste spill, though."

-Xander Schauffele, to Golf Digest, why he's still driving the same "scuffed up" Toyota Camry he had well before he won PGA Tour Rookie of the Year: "The lease isn't up yet."

-Jack Finarelli of SportsCurmudgeon.com, on the Jets lacking a franchise QB since the days of Joe Namath: "To put that in perspective, he is 6 months older than I am, and when I was in high school they were able to teach all of World History in 4 days."

-Outfielder Oscar Gamble, who died Wednesday at 78, speaking during his playing days on Yankees clubhouse dysfunction: "They don't think it be like it be, but it do."

-Brad Dickson of the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, after remnants of a 2,300-year-old gymnasium were uncovered in Egypt: "CBI executives immediately called to ask, 'Is it available in March?' "

-Ex-Rockies outfielder Larry Walker, to TSN Montreal 690 Radio, complaining that playing in Denver is hurting him with Hall of Fame voters: "No needles went in my ass. I played the game clean, but I played in the ballpark, and it's almost like Coors Field is my PED."

-Warriors coach Steve Kerr, to reporters, after his team committed 20 turnovers in a 30-point loss to the Nuggets: "We work hard to turn the ball over in creative ways. And I thought we were really good at turning the ball over tonight."

-TBS's Conan O'Brien, after North Korea announced it will send a group of citizens called the "cheering squad" to this month's Winter Olympics: "And many of them are expected to actually compete in a new event called the '400-meter defection.' "

-RJ Currie of SportsDeke.com, on doctors telling Sharks forward Joe Thornton to keep weight off his injured knee: "I'm thinking he could drop 10 pounds just by shaving the beard."

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(c)2018 The Seattle Times

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